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Paul, Minnesota, and working as a flight attendant.

Missi felt ready for a serious relationship again, so she made a profile on Our Time.com, a dating site for people in middle age.

Missi Brandt had emerged from a rough few years with a new sense of solidity.A few days later, when he was supposed to pick her up for their first date, Richie was nowhere to be found, and he wasn’t responding to her texts, either.Missi sat in her living room, alternately furious at him (for letting her down) and at herself (for getting her hopes up enough to be let down). He’s probably at home, hanging out with his wife and kids,” she says.Maybe, he told her, with the benevolent confidence of a wealthy man, she wouldn’t have to work.The offer wasn’t all that appealing to Missi—“I didn’t want to be a stay-at-home mom again,” she says—but she took it as a sign that things were getting serious.

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He was a career naval officer, an Afghanistan veteran who was finishing his doctorate in political science at the University of Minnesota.

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