So a lot of your communication is going to revolve around evoking a reaction and not worrying too much about real emotions.
When you're dating with standards, you are more likely to be honest with your feelings, good or bad.
For me, I used to think I was "unlovable" (wah, wah, wah...) and that everyone else at least had SOMETHING going on with SOMEONE, even if it was toxic or stupid. For one, it gave me self-confidence and value instead of putting myself down.
Then one day, my girlfriend told me if it was just about finding a boyfriend, I would have one already, and my standards that were getting in the way of that. Secondly, it explained why I was always judging my friends' relationships so badly and lastly, it helped me realize that she was right.
The dating field is as confusing as ever, much in part to the endless dating apps, social media and new "rules" to follow all of the time.
It can be tricky to know if you are organically hitting it off with a person, playing a role and putting up a facade or even INTERESTED in dating, or if you're just following the crowd.
In the 1950's suitable dates entailed a couple sharing a straw at the local soda shop. Helen Sheumaker, professor at Miami University of Ohio, the roles played by men and women in relationships paralleled their economic roles; men were the providers, fronting the bills because they earned a steady income and women were the consumers, consuming beauty enhancing products and men's chivalrous attempts to win over their hearts. Dates consisted of dinner followed by a movie or ice cream.
Since then, I've learned there are essentially two ways to date: Dating for attention and dating with standards. If you are seeking attention, are bored or want to feel like you are desirable, you're likely saying yes to most offers that come your way. There is definitely something to be said for going on many, many dates and learning more about your tastes, likes, dislikes, etc. The fanfare of getting a blowout, buying an outfit, getting your nails done and fancy cocktails?In fact, Bogle states that only 28% of college students reported hooking up with more than 10 people by the end of their senior year.Teens believe that extreme behavior is typical, which influences their choices and behavior, and ultimately their peers' behavior.While casual sex implies sexual intercourse, hooking-up does not necessarily imply sexual intercourse, but rather sexual behaviors.According to the researchers, "because a hook-up can refer to kissing and petting as well as sexual intercourse, adolescent girls can disclose during post-encounter commentary with peers without having to worry about being considered a "prude" or a "slut"".
The term's vagueness can, however, lead to differing expectations among participants and emotionally painful consequences.