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Be patient: People have different commitments in their lives, and online dating isn’t always at the very top. Most of these women are seeking long-term relationships, so this type of behavior often causes them to isolate their interactions to only the men they are interested in.

It’s not fair to you, but that’s the reality you’re facing.

To oversimplify what I mean, let’s take coffee for example. Only use current photos in your profile: One of the most common complaints I hear from men is that women frequently misrepresent themselves in their photos by using old photos (sometimes decades old) or by cropping them in too tightly so you don’t realize they are of a certain body type.

Most people can agree they don’t like scalding hot coffee, but it’s tough to get people to agree on how they do like their coffee. Obviously men do this as well; I’ve just heard this complaint more frequently from men than from women.

Read the profiles of your potential mates carefully: Just as you took a lot of time and energy to write a good profile for yourself, so did a lot of other people.

And just like you, those people are trying to communicate to you and the rest of their potential mates what they bring to the relationship table.

Place critical information at the top of your profile: If you’re looking for something very specific, such as deal-breakers you absolutely want people to know about, place that information at the very top of your profile.

Even if they don’t read your whole profile, they’ll at least know you don’t want children or are allergic to cats (my boyfriend and I never would have dated if I’d owned a cat instead of a dog because he’s severely allergic to cats).6.

Other people like to use online dating as a buffer that allows them to pick and choose who they interact with, and that’s not always going to be you. Bottom line: It’s natural to become discouraged every once in awhile, but don’t let it get you down for too long.

Don’t you both deserve to have your profiles read carefully and thoroughly?

After all, if online dating profiles are a part of the whole online dating process, why skip that step?

It’s just like posting an inaccurate photo of yourself; sooner or later people are going to realize that’s not the real you, throwing your chances of a long-term relationship out the window.4.

Don’t write a novel: Just as you don’t want to have too sparse of a profile, you also don’t want your profile to be a novel.

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A commenter on my “Three Mistakes …” piece said someone kept messaging them the word “hi.” Just “hi.” I don’t think that really “wowed” them.

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