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More than 30 percent don’t even know where to begin and nearly 30 percent say they find it too stressful (think back to those sweaty palms and awkward conversations.) For more than 40 percent of respondents, other priorities are simply more important, and nearly one-quarter say it’s just too difficult to date when you’re 50-plus. Be the master of the segue if he talks too much, or the conversation swerves into uncomfortable topics. Show up to your dates open, happy and being your already charming self. That’s true whether you’re 16 or 56, but more than 40 percent don’t believe there is anyone “out there” to date.Most people want to find a friend or a life partner, and to meet the dates who may fulfill this desire, many 50-somethings, about 80 percent in fact, do it the old-fashioned way — through friends or family. Dating after 40 or 50 means taking control of your love life, just like you do the rest of your life. Keep your body language open, play with your hair, smile, touch his arm. It means being kind to yourself and the men you meet. I have compiled a list of Dating Do’s and Don’ts exclusively for women like you. These are for the woman who is done repeating the same mistakes, and is ready to find her grown-up love story.1. Baggage bonding is when an early date shifts into deep conversation about some baggage you have in common. You start comparing your horrific ex-spouses or your crazy awful dates. Men know who and what they want, often better than we do. But every day I coach women like you through situations they wish they didn't get into. It's up to the couple to decide what levels of involvement with secondary partners feels comfortable.Generally, the one rule with non-monogamy is that all sluttery must be done ethically, safely, and with consent of all parties involved.It starts off innocently with a question like “So what happened with your marriage? Nothing positive can possibly come from this, sister. Yes, I know he said he was going to call you, I know you had a great date and want to see him again. That’s especially true of the grownup men that you’re dating. The last thing you want at 55 is to wake up in the morning with flashbacks to your days as a 20-something, right? His manners, his shirt, his smile, the way he talks about his kids.

If you are dealing with a grown-up man he will appreciate and respect you for it.

In fact, nearly 60 percent say they make better decisions about compatibility now compared to when they were younger. If he walks away from the date having shared too much or hasn’t learned about you, then there won't be a second date.

Some 42 percent have better quality dates, and 52 percent say part of the allure of dating in the 50s is the absence of the tick-tock of the biological clock.

One married couple I’m friends with has a couple of girlfriends between them, and they also have their own partners (she has both male and female partners, and he has female partners).

I have a good friend who lives apart from her boyfriend; she has several regular male and female lovers, while he travels the world, finding spontaneous sexual encounters along the way.

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As to the “why” behind the lack of date-nights, nearly 60 percent say they don’t need a relationship to be happy.

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