Sure, they will go out for dinner and do fun activities, but it’s not packaged up in a formal and contrived manner. It’s more organic and instead of defining the relationship in order to know how to act, they let the relationship unfold and the label of boyfriend/girlfriend just naturally develops in the process. European men are comfortable with women, which leads to respect for women.
Perhaps this has to do with their upbringing, where it’s very normal for boys and girls to play and intermingle together.
American men will rush to get you in bed as quick as possible, while European men don’t appear to have the same rush (or desperation). European men don’t ‘date’ – in the formal way that Americans are used to.
The types of dates seen in movies – the formal ask, the fancy dinner and the entire dance that ensues simply doesn’t exist in the European mindset, in fact, the word “dating” isn’t even a part of their lexicon. Unlike American culture, where there’s almost a rite of passage which takes two people from “hooking up” to “seeing each other” to “dating” to “exclusive”, these labels just aren’t a focus or concern for European men. Rather, the mentality is, “I like you, I want to see you, and if it’s enjoyable, let’s keep seeing each other”.
Americans have so many dating, career and lifestyle options that getting any man to focus on one person for enough time to develop the feelings that manifest themselves in those words is a major, major achievement (Have you played This is what your mom tells you the first time a girl breaks your heart, but in America, there is literally an ocean of single women and men to move on to.They grow up developing friendships with the opposite sex and in turn, develop more empathy and understanding of the opposite sex.In American culture, there is a clear segregation of the sexes, boys play with boys and do boy things and girls do the same.The American way is loud and even arrogant at times. Call it the revolving door or hedging – there’s the idea in the American approach to dating that there’s always something better around the corner.With European men, if there’s mutual interest, they keep seeing that person and don’t keep hunting for better options simultaneously. Nor will they freak out when discussions of commitment or future come up.
Tuesday I went off, -style, on how this is the best country in the world for dating.